Confidence on your special day
There’s no doubt about it: for all the joy it brings, getting married can also make those little imperfections that went unnoticed for decades suddenly feel magnified.
The idea of being the centre of attention all day can be completely overwhelming. All those little insecurities we thought we had overcome, feel enormous and the thought of feeling unconfident can wreak havoc the best of us.
But it’s completely normal to feel this way, so don’t panic! Whilst exciting, getting married is also daunting for some of us and intimidating, so don’t beat yourself up about it, we’re not all born to automatically feel comfortable in front of a crowd.
BUT there are many things you can do to build up your confidence for your wedding day and beyond, here are just a few to get you started.
Try something new
Learning a new skill is great and is proven to increase confidence and wellbeing…From learning how to dance, learning a martial art, cooking masterclasses, to something more daring like paragliding. Force yourself to keep growing and learning and challenge those inhibitions.
You have to practise confidence.
So try to start building on confidence before your big day. Learn something new and start to sow the seed of confidence and self-belief. Jump in head first like a child would. We’re all beginners at first, but practice makes perfect.
When we are confident, our body language is big, open, we are taller, we feel good. When we feel un-confident, we do the opposite with our body, we shrink to make it smaller, fold our arms, cross our legs, put our head down. A HUGE part of feeling confident is in your body language.
Think of a cat about to fight: it makes itself bigger and more intimidating first.
Practise big open power postures like the infamous hands-on-your-hips pose by wonderwoman (check out a brilliant TedX video on body language by psychologist Amy Cuddy) for 20 seconds before you need to enter an environment that makes you feel un-confident.
Such open postures are scientifically proven to increase testosterone levels by 20% which instantly boosts confidence, simply from changing your body language. When I want to feel confident, I wear my favourite heels; they change how I walk, how I stand, and force me to be taller (bigger) and ultimately adapt the way I behave.
Change your state
Feeling unconfident is not a permanent state. It will pass. Whilst it may not feel like it at the time, you are in control of changing how you feel. If you start to feel unconfident, write down all the things you are good at. What are all the things people come to you for advice or guidance on? Another good way to give yourself a confidence boost is to ask your beloved to write down the top 5 things they love about you. Keep these in your wallet and remind yourself of them when you need a boost.
Last but not least: just be
Give yourself permission to feel vulnerable, unconfident and nervous. Don’t make any judgements or place expectations that you shouldn’t feel this way, you might. And that’s ok. Sometimes simply giving yourself permission to just ‘be’ takes away the overwhelming pressure to be perfect.
You WILL feel excited, You WILL no doubt feel nervous. But you WILL also feel beautiful and with that comes confidence. You will feel beautiful simply by marrying the one you love with all your friends and family all right there by your side, cheering you on. Allow your beloved and your friends and family to lift you higher. It’s the biggest confidence boost you can get.
Nova Reid is founder and editor of multi award-winning UK wedding blog Nu Bride, also an established NLP Life Coach. She is passionate about promoting positive wellbeing in the wellbeing amongst wedding professionals.
Often described as more than just a wedding blog, Nu Bride was founded in 2012 following Nova’s own engagement and quickly grew to become a well-respected wedding planning resource, dedicated to encouraging and adding a splash of inclusive diversity into mainstream wedding blogs.